My Mental Health Story
- Zahli McFarlane
- Oct 1, 2025
- 6 min read
World Mental Health Day is coming up on the 10th of October, an important day to raise awareness of our own mental health and check in with others. I wanted to share my story with my mental health in the hopes it encourages even one person to try something that might help them.
My name is Zahli McFarlane, I am the manager of Recovery Lab Mornington and part of the family that owns the business. I recently graduated university with a Bachelor of Film and Television. I love being creative, and I am obsessed with animals, especially dogs.
In 2019, I graduated high school after doing what felt like a million co-curricular activities and studying in the time I had left. I was intense, I don’t remember having breaks or time to relax - just this memory of feeling like I should be working harder. And it hadn’t just been this way in Year 12; most of my school life felt like that. I would say yes to every activity, every event and still completed my school work to an intense, perfectionist level. So when COVID-19 the following year and my gap year travel plans were no longer possible, I think what happened next had been a long time coming.
I still remember vividly my first ‘bad night’. I hadn’t been sleeping well at all, but this time, as I tried to sleep my thoughts got darker and darker, they scared me so much, but I didn’t feel like I had any control over them. I was so exhausted, but I didn’t want to sleep in case my mind went back to that place, so I listened to 5 Seconds of Summer’s album ‘Calm’ until I was so tired I fell asleep with the music blasting in my ears. I broke down that next day and spoke to my mum and dad about this uncontrollable, endless nothingness I was feeling.
I am forever grateful for the non-judgmental support and help from my parents as I started making steps to get help. They never stopped trying to help me and kept encouraging me to find ways to help myself. Even after knowing I had the best support and started working with medical professionals, it got worse. There were nights where I couldn’t stop hysterically crying, nights where I felt nothing at all, nights where I so desperately wanted it all to stop. Even now, I don’t feel comfortable sharing some of the dark thoughts and feelings I had during those periods because I feel so ashamed and upset by them.
I often got stuck in this loop of feeling selfish and ungrateful for being depressed and anxious when I had a supportive family, a creative career path I had the means to pursue and was financially supported. This constant negativity towards myself wasn’t going to make me less depressed, but it often contributed to nights of spiraling thoughts. That was always the hard part; realising that no one could fix it for you, or fix it quickly, and I had to do the work on changing the thoughts myself.
I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this - but the negativity was always way more comfortable than trying to be positive. When you are already so uncomfortable within yourself, unfamiliar positive self-talk feels unbearable.
From 2020 to 2023, I went through ups and downs. They always tell you recovery is not linear, but it doesn’t make it suck any less.
Mid-2023, my dad asked me if I would do some shifts at Recovery Lab Hampton and Windsor. He was interested in the business and he felt it could have a positive impact on my mental wellbeing. I was very against it at first - I wasn’t very active because I was constantly exhausted despite not doing much, so I didn’t see how this would be a good job for someone who wasn’t exercising. But I went to support my sister, and I was sick of working in hospitality.
When I started to use the services myself, I began to gain energy. My body didn’t feel as sluggish and my mind felt clearer. It encouraged me to start running and start exercising more regularly, and I felt much more like myself. I still had bad days, but they were fewer and further between. During this time, my dad saw the positive impact it was having on both me and himself, so he started working out how we could open our own Recovery Lab in Mornington.
On February 20, 2024 we opened Recovery Lab Mornington. I could tell you it was such a breeze starting a business, the build went so smoothly and I wasn’t stressed at all because I was doing something I enjoyed. But, I would be lying. It was hard work to get it open, and even harder to get people through the door. In our first few months, I was also on set for my graduate film projects - long, exhausting days that physically took me away from the business. I didn’t get time to relax afterwards either, because I still had assessments to complete, a business to run, and so, so, so much to learn. On top of that we had a health emergency in my family that became the top priority.
When Semester 2 started again and brought even more stress, I became officially burnt out. Every little problem caused me to break down. I was incredibly fatigued and desperately trying to keep my head above water. Things felt impossible. I tried to have a break from work, but it never felt like a real break. I‘d end up just feeling guilty, lazy and incapable. Even though I knew the tools I had to support myself, it was hard to go to my workplace and relax when I felt so anxious and stressed about work.
It was also hard knowing this time I understood the psychology behind what I was experiencing- what was wrong and why I probably felt that way- but I just couldn’t seem to do what I needed to do: take a guilt-free, mindful break and actually rest.
It wasn’t until October that I found what would help me overcome my burnout. I went to Bali for a week for a bachelorette trip - I turned my notifications off, I spent hours in the pool, danced until I couldn’t anymore, got ready with all my friends, and wore my favourite outfits. I came back feeling lighter, happier and full of life again, well, after I got over Bali belly.
Now, when I get stressed, I can’t just book a trip to Bali - but I can take what I learnt from that trip and use it when I need to. Dancing, connection, and no distractions is what helped me feel better. It‘s a different type of wellbeing that‘s just as important as exercise, recovery tools and a good night’s sleep.
Since then, I’ve managed my stress, anxiety and depression well enough that I’m attempting to come off my anxiety/depression medication- knowing that I have a great support system and mental wellbeing tools. I am feeling so much better than I have in a long time and I am so proud of myself because it was really hard.
There was a time I didn’t think I would get through the night, let alone be here five years later celebrating World Mental Health Day feeling so much lighter. This is the reason Recovery Lab Mornington is hosting ‘Party @ The Lab’, a celebration of World Mental Health Day and how hard it is to battle your own mind - whether you are in the midst of it or out the other side.
I am encouraging everyone to come try the recovery modalities that helped me so much while also listening to music, dancing and connecting with others - another life saving tool.
Find more info and tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/party-the-lab-tickets-1749239264729?aff=oddtdtcreator
I hope to see you there,
Zahli
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